Transforming Toxicity: A Journey from IT Tyrant to Team Player

Introduction: A Year of Change

In the fast-paced world of IT, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, sometimes losing sight of the importance of effective communication and teamwork. A year ago, I found myself at a crossroads, realizing that my toxic behavior was not only affecting my career but also my relationships with colleagues. This is the story of how I transformed from a self-proclaimed IT tyrant into a more empathetic and effective team player.

The Wake-Up Call: A Meeting with the Boss

It all started with a meeting with my director. The conversation revolved around future plans and team roles, with a strong emphasis on «effective team interaction» and «a comfortable work environment.» The subtle hints about my communication style sent chills down my spine. For the first time, I questioned whether the problem lay with my colleagues or within myself.

Identifying the Problem: A Self-Reflection

Determined to address the issue, I systematically listed past conflicts, creating a log of my toxic behavior. Patterns emerged:

  • Dismissive Responses: When colleagues asked questions, I often responded with sarcasm, leading them to avoid direct communication with me.
  • Critical Meetings: I would harshly critique proposed solutions, resulting in being «forgotten» in future meetings.
  • Public Criticism: I pointed out mistakes in a biting manner, silencing those around me.

I realized I was like a DoS attack on the work atmosphere, causing a «denial of service» in communication.

Understanding the Root Cause

Digging deeper, I recalled my early career days, where I faced humiliation from more experienced colleagues and battled imposter syndrome. My toxic behavior stemmed from fear—fear of losing my status as the «smartest» in the room.

Crafting a Solution: A Plan for Change

With newfound awareness, I devised a concrete plan:

1. Revamp Communication Style

A psychologist recommended a CBT book, «How to Beat Stress and Depression,» which became my guide. I learned to identify distorted thoughts and replace them with healthier alternatives. For instance:

  • Situation: A junior asked about access rights.
  • Initial Thought: «Another dumb question.»
  • Distortion: Labeling, should statements.
  • Alternative Thought: «It’s my job to help juniors learn.»

I also adopted anger management techniques like the «5-second silence» and a «physical anchor» to curb impulsive reactions.

2. Build a Knowledge Base

To reduce repetitive questions, I created a knowledge base using Minerva Knowledge, compiling screencasts, step-by-step guides, and solutions. This not only eased my workload but also empowered colleagues to find answers independently.

The First Signs of Success

The initial weeks were challenging, but gradually, I noticed positive changes. Colleagues began approaching me with more complex questions, and I responded with patience and understanding. My productivity increased, and I felt less mentally drained.

Unexpected Benefits

As my behavior improved, I observed:

  • Reduced Fatigue: Less conflict meant more mental energy.
  • Faster Problem Resolution: Colleagues sought help sooner, preventing bigger issues.
  • Increased Productivity: More time and energy for meaningful work.

Conclusion: Lessons Learned

A year later, I’ve learned that:

  • «I’m smarter than others» is a defense mechanism. It protected my self-esteem but hindered growth.
  • Aggression signals powerlessness. I lashed out when I felt out of control.
  • Complex explanations don’t equate to intelligence. Simplicity fosters understanding.
  • IT professionals aren’t superior. Every role, from IT to accounting, holds value.

By letting go of the «smartest in the room» mentality, I’ve gained genuine respect and appreciation from my peers. If you see yourself in my story, it’s never too late to change. The journey is worth it.

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